Theloopylululog

Damn.

This could end up opening a Pandora’s box that I have been guarding zealously for decades.

How do I manage stress?

Let’s just say I’ve done it all—from staging unmanaged yelling competitions to release overwhelm arising from stress and anxiety—something I’m not proud of—to meditating it all away.

I never drank or smoked my way through stress but that doesn’t mean all my coping mechanisms were played by the book. Some are quite pitiable while others, I am taking to my grave.

I come from a family with a long history of men treating their family as punching bags for stress release. So for a long time, I was oblivious to the fact that my default mode of operation when faced with an uncontrollable situation was coming more from conditioning than from what was rightful.

But I learnt to right my wrongs before I ended up becoming a hysterical wreck no one wanted around them.

I am anxiety prone. And my anxiety found its release through temper tantrums. That’s a DNA problem. Growing up in similar environments taught me the same.

My answer to get rid of this unhealthy habit?

In one word, meditation.

It took many years of failures until small successes came my way. But consistent efforts paid off.

My own response to break generations of conditioning hardwired into my body was through conscious, intentional pattern interruption.

I am a pro at sitting for long hours of meditation. Through pain, through the intolerable drama of my mind, through numbness, through everything. I learnt to tame my rage, anger, fear of the unknown and the desperate need to control my life through intense meditation.

It’s not for everyone. But I needed the penance to finally emerge successful at quelling my anxiety prone response to stress.

Do I still yell?

I didn’t proclaim myself to be the next Buddha. So yes, sometimes I do.

Not at people though. When things go over my head, I go to my room, find a quiet place alone and yell at no one in particular. I release what needs release by screaming to my heart’s content. No one gets burnt. No one gets hurt. The suppressed emotion gets some air and my body doesn’t have to carry what it needn’t anymore.

And I meditate every day. Without fail.

One other thing that works for me beautifully is to release all the pent up energy of stress through exercise. My fitness is proof that it works. Weights, Pilates, Yoga, Qigong; I am into everything and they all help me build a positive mind to handle anything life throws at me. The abs, the packs and muscles are added bonuses, and I am not complaining.

So my free advice to handle stress?

Learn to release the emotion first.

Yell to the walls of a quiet room, write it all out and burn the pages, listen to music, take a walk, hike or simply take a shower. Whatever works for you. Just don’t take it out on your loved ones or employees or strangers. Or worse, yourself.

Suppressing stress might make you feel like a saint. For a while. Until it all comes crashing down on you and you find it difficult to face yourself in the mirror.

Learn to meditate.

Even if for minutes. Just find a quiet comfortable place and watch yourself. The amount of stress that gets released by simply allowing yourself to slow down and breathe will take your breath away.

Learn to let go through exercise.

A good workout is a panacea. Medicine for the body, mind and soul. You haven’t found nirvana until you have released some pent up anger from stress through a good Pilates session including weights. Try it.

As an added bonus—because I am feeling quite generous and kind today, I will let you in on my secret weapon.

A good cry.

Shame-free. Guilt-free. Freedom packed with nutrients.

I love to cry out all that I cannot put into words or express in any other way. I put on some lovely melancholic music and just let go. A faithful handkerchief or my t-shirt is the only companion and witness.

Most times that’s enough.