Theloopylululog

If I had a time machine and could send just one message to my past self, I would say the exact same thing my future self wrote to me a couple of days ago!

I would write a heartfelt letter to my past self because she has always loved letters…expressing gratitude and nothing but gratitude.

I would make sure it is handwritten in black ink because she has had a life long love affair with black ink.

I wouldn’t offer her any advice or rattle off a to-do check list of goals for her to achieve because I want her to trust herself. She is her own North star and her heart will be her guiding light and map to her future. She deserves the freedom to choose and stand by her choices wholeheartedly.

She was always a free bird willing to learn to fly even without wings. Once a creator, always a creator! And I know what she needs now; that one thing she seeks and never finds. That is exactly what I am going to send her.

I would humbly offer my heartfelt gratitude to her for being her and only her.

My dearest darling Jerrylet,

Thank you.

Thank you for keeping the faith. Thank you for honouring your life. Thank you for choosing life over and over again. If not for you, would I even exist, my love?

Thank you for believing in the infinite possibilities you are. Thank you for realising in time what an exquisitely expansive universe you hold within yourself.

Thank you for saying NO to death even when it kindly stopped by you too many times to count.

Thank you for giving yourself every opportunity to grow, change and transform with every fall, every failure and every setback.

Thank you for walking the path alone. Choosing the silence of the solitude that comes with it over the noise of loneliness.

Thank you for learning the art of finding peace in the unfinished, the unknown and the unforgivable.

Thank you for loving the unpredictable and predictable phases of life equally.

Thank you for loving love with all of you, never choosing to play the game of half and half.

Thank you for being unapologetically you.

Thank you for never saying no to trying. For trusting that God hides beyond the trials.

Thank you for giving life a try and learning to embody it with the entirety of you. It’s never been easy and know that I know that. It took you a taste of the worst possibilities life handed you, to burn in that pain and rise like the phoenix you are. Taking life by its collar, taking the driver’s seat and riding a journey that is worth writing about by the future for posterity.

I spend time everyday in quiet prayer, in remembrance of the remarkable human you are.

I spend time everyday in gratitude honouring all your sacrifices and all the choices you made thence to make ME possible. For I am because you are.

Every dream you ever dreamed, every dream you ever lost; I strive to fulfill them for a little one somewhere in a dark corner of the world that denies them the opportunity to become the best of their potential.

The child in us is the same child within them and through them we make all our dreams possible.

I am at the zenith of everything a human could achieve, everything you ever desired of becoming.

I am the sum total of every impossible you made possible.

I am who I am because of you and I can never thank you enough.

Someday when you are here where I stand now, I hope you are just as proud of me and my journey as I am of you and yours.

I love you, my dearest Jerrylet. You will always be my everlasting sunshine.

With immense respect and gratitude,

Your future self,

An older Jerrylet.

P.S. Please do wear your favorite Sherlock Holmes hat when you fall in love. Don’t forget to do a thorough background check of the men you will come to worship and proclaim as God personified. You never know what they might hiding underneath that handsome face.

Ok. That’s all from me.

See you when I see you next!