Theloopylululog

What’s a moment in my life that made me feel truly alive?

Really, WordPress?

I could write an award winning book on this prompt. Actually I could write a series on this topic that Netflix would even sell its soul to buy the copyright.

My life is filled with such moments. So many, I can’t choose one over the other.

I will do you one better…I will tell you about a day I felt truly alive.

It was last week, 23rd of September. I had just landed in Chennai. I was to meet my sister at the end of the day and proceed the next day down south following the itinerary of our short trip.

It was an ordinary Chennai day just like yesterday. A day that doesn’t let you know how hot it really is until you wake up the next morning feeling like a boiled potato. It was sultry and windy. The kind of weather that believes it is the stock market, not the personification of climate.

I had the whole day for myself. And I wanted Chennai to surprise me.

Chennai FYI is my Dad’s birth place. I have been there innumerable times all my life. BUT always with family. It is usually our stop gap before we head down south for our temple hopping trips.

This was the first time I was there alone. Without any agenda. Just a tentative plan to discover Chennai with my own heart. Go wherever my feet desired to walk. And make whatever was ready to be mine for the day.

It started with me asking for directions to the Chennai Egmore metro station after the long distance train I was in for the last 12 hours dropped me off at Egmore. Oddly localites seemed confused until a college kid guided me. I walked and I walked until finally I got into an elevator descending underground with a young man just as clueless and excited as me.

I spoke to him in Tamil. He answered in Kannada. We understood each other. Somehow. Both first timers to take the Chennai metro. So obviously we did.

Would you believe me if I said I was excited as a child to get into the metro? I was. So much so, that I wasn’t entirely sure why my QR ticket was being rejected by the scanner! Someone came to help and there I was smiling away, being grateful, asking for directions and just waiting to hop into the cool interiors of the metro train.

Don’t ask me why I behaved like a 4 yr old. I just did. Unashamed I asked as many I could for help. Almost everyone obliged. Speaking the language of the land kinda gives you a heads-up. Locals make you feel like they know you personally.

They also take you for granted. Assuming you would know every inch of the city. Why else would you know the damn language and speak it like a localite!! Err…I am a Tamilian dude. I don’t have to belong to Chennai to be one now, do I? Maybe that’s why?

I didn’t let the hiccups bother me. I was here to explore the day, Chennai and myself. Nothing else deserved to matter.

There was a storm warning handed out. Chennai was about to be hit with gale like winds and very heavy rain. Apparently. I carried an umbrella. Enough protection. Since when have weather reports in India begun to work as predicted?

The second the underground metro ascended towards the skyline at Koyambedu, I was mesmerised. It positively fascinated me, as if I was coming out of a giant dragon’s mouth to taste freedom after eons! I looked around to share my joy with someone. Everyone was busy gossipping or too engrossed in their phones to even notice.

I didn’t let that dent my excitement. I reached my hotel. Had my favorite Idli-Sambar. Got ready and headed out with just water and an umbrella. And the intention to live the day as fully as I could.

My first stop was Vadapalani, a place I have never visited even with family. Got the details of the metro line that would take me close enough and just went.

The temple was lovely. I felt I was personally welcomed what with the mridangams being played as I entered the sanctum with a trumpeting elephant for company. The flower sellers assumed me to be a regular.

Lord Murugan was sublimely dressed as a young prince, with his body annointed with sandalwood paste. The energy of this place was divine and child-like. The art in the ceiling, the smell of flowers and faith in the air; everything felt destined.

Revelling in the experience, I rushed back to the metro station to go to Central and take the suburban train to Mambalam, a favorite haunt for all things sundry. The rush of getting into a metro train hadn’t faded. I felt the same excitement as if it was my first time.

I stopped at a place in Park station that used to be our family favorite for quick lunches and breakfast.

A piping hot plate of Sambar rice looked at me like it knew me from an old life. It’s weird how some things stay the same despite many rivers having flown past it. Sambar rice in any case is not food…it’s emotion and memory making love unabashedly in public. Pure. Sacred.

I was almost in tears. Not just because the food was so bloody tasty but also because it was fiery! Madras chillies being Madras chillies, what else!

Next stop. Ranganathan street is where you go if you want…basically anything. I was there just for old times sake. The rush of being in a busy market that sells everything is something one needs to experience.

The last time I was here, it was different. Things had apparently changed since Covid but the buzz was still the same. The vibe, the noise…different yet familiar.

It was tea time by the time I headed back to Park. I sat at the same place I did for lunch and was handed a cup of chai. Tea with milk is a rare luxury for me since Covid as I developed an intolerance towards dairy since the infection laid me low.

That cup. That day. That Chai. It’s for the history books.

A simple paper cup with sweet chai turned out to be the most delicious chai I have ever had. I don’t know if it was the Chennai heat or my feet seeking a respite from walking or just my body finally making peace with chai.

I became emotional as I drained that cup off it’s last dregs. Is this how chai tasted all life? Or is it just me tasting it for the first time? Or maybe I am just PRESENT here in the NOW…It felt like Life came full circle to culminate in that cup of tea. That paper cup gave me something I wasn’t even seeking: 100 ml of Heaven for just 20 bucks.

I couldn’t sit there for long. I had places to go and time was beckoning me. I walked a mile to head to Park Town station to head to Tirumayilai. A route I had never been on. A place I had never known existed. But there I was with a ticket in hand. It was apparently the nearest point that would take me to my favorite Shiva.

Localites as usual were confused. I relied on my faith and google to take me to my Shiva. 20 minutes later a battered train trooped in. I didn’t think twice. Hopped in and sat next to a couple of women.

Turned out they got off where I did. Upon asking them directions to head to the temple, they walked with me and guided me half way there. The women spoke in a dialect I couldn’t place but it was so sweet. They made sure I would cross the road safely and went their way. We meet the best of humanity when we least expect it, no?

I won’t write a long thesis on the Shiva temple because I can’t. Expressing how I feel about Shiva is beyond the scope of this blog post…so I won’t bore you. Suffice to say, it was one of my best experiences ever.

Maybe because I had come a long way. My pedometer had already registered 22k steps. My feet were indeed tiring. But my heart? It was soaring!

The sun was setting and when I laid my eyes on the Shiv Linga that I had previously seen many years ago, I felt I was home. I couldn’t move from there for some time. I didn’t want to. Something told me I was meant to be there that evening. Like my whole life conspired to bring me there at that exact moment.

After a peaceful darshan, it was time to head back. I walked to the train station. Got into one and got off at the wrong station. But I had nothing to worry about. The station was deserted but I knew I wasn’t alone. Soon enough I was on my way back to the hotel after yet another metro ride.

As the day ended, the pedometer stood at 17kms. My feet did carry me wherever they wanted to go. My body was in a state of harmony. Ever since perimenopause hit, I had lost confidence in myself. I was not sure I could be my own best companion anymore. Brain fog and memory issues had me doubt myself more than ever.

But there I was. Ending that day on a runner’s high. I had achieved something I wanted to and it left me deeply grateful. For trusting in myself to figure a way out as the day passed by. Menopausal joint pains had seen me choose travels and trips where I didn’t have to walk at all until a few months ago. But here I was…walking 17 kms through the day in Chennai of all places!

Sometimes all we need is a couple of bottles of water, an umbrella and truckloads of excitement to walk through a day and feel truly alive. Nothing extraordinary about it. Some comfort food and a cup of chai that feels like heaven certainly help.

What began as an ordinary solo outing for me turned out to be a highlight reel of my life! Unforgettable indeed!

P.S. The storm never came to pass. No rain. No gale winds. Turned out to be my gain entirely! Hozzaatt for divine providence?