Theloopylululog

Appreciation. Period.

If I am allowed to put a spin on the widely used real estate phrase I would say this: There are three things that matter in education — Appreciation, Appreciation, Appreciation.

One thing I wish schools taught is the art of appreciation.

One thing I wish my school taught me was to appreciate.

Appreciate myself, my fellow students, teachers, people, humanity, nature, art…the universe and everything else that we call life.

One thing I wish schools included in their curriculum is time spent in appreciation. Time spent in learning and teaching appreciation. With no agenda of competition. Without being doled out marks or grades in exchange. Where appreciation is not transactionary.

Where children get to be themselves and be with themselves.

I am not alluding to a yoga class or meditation here. Although I would very much appreciate them to be a part of a student’s life too.

I am suggesting a session which lets them showcase a side of them to the rest of their peers that is unique to them. Something that is their USP. Something that makes them, them.

A hour or two where they are unafraid of themselves and the others. Where connection becomes free of the burden of exchange. Where Beingness is appreciated and not Doingness.

Time spent in discovery of the self and of the other. Everyone welcomed with open arms and applause to the multitudes they inherently are within themselves.

Walt Whitman in his poem Song of Myself wrote I am large, I contain multitudes.

The line reflects a mind that refuses to stay rigid, fixed, or boxed into a single simple definition thus emphasizing that the self is not limited, it’s expanding. Whitman’s “self” stretches out to absorb the experiences of not just itself but also the diverse people around him.

So imagine being given the permission to just BE. Open yourself to the class showcasing either a talent that is visible like art or music or one that is invisible like the art of listening or kindness or clear thinking in duress.

We all know that in an environment that is free of stress; be it parental or societal stress — which is sadly a part of a child’s life as young as 3 — a child flourishes.

In a room free of marks, grades and competition, a student finally gets to breathe easy. Free of the burden to perform. Free of the burden to be perfect.

In a world that demands us to perfect perfection itself, imagine the liberty to just BE in comfort with oneself!

A room that welcomes the student to be themselves AND showcase whatever they think comes naturally to them. Something that gives them unbridled joy. Where they don’t have to think too much. Where flow just comes with ease.

A session that allows them to be human, not circus animals learning to jump out of hoops of standards set by society. Competition, believe it or not makes us more like animals stripping us of being human.

Imagine a room where everyone is equal in a level playing field because here everyone is welcome as they are and everything about them that is unique to them is welcome too without judgement, without criticism.

It teaches them about individuality and the joy of having an individual identity. Alongside the thrill of also knowing that each one of us might be different in what we look like or how we behave but we share the sameness in that we are all unique individuals in our own ways. No two students are ever alike. And in that quality they are the same!

Wouldn’t it be nice to know that the world that rewards you for being highly individualistic is also in so many ways similar to us?

Away from the stress of winning and losing, a student learns the most important skill a human being needs to exist in harmony with the rest of humanity : Belonging.

If only we knew how to belong, the world would be heaven on earth. If only we knew it was safe for us to belong without constrictions and restrictions, the world would be a much kinder, calmer place today.

It took me all my life to learn how to belong; to myself, to the people I live with and to the society I am a part of. 40 years of struggle to find peace in co-existence. 4 decades worth of sheer trying to prove I belong without knowing what belonging even means!

Lack of a sense of belonging arises from self doubt which traces it’s source to a lack of self confidence, self esteem and self acceptance.

When you are never given an opportunity to be who you are and just be with who you are, in silent appreciation of all that you are without the shadow of doubt or judgement or criticism, how does one belong or even start to learn to belong?

Now imagine a room filled with your fellow peers; all different, all unique, each with their own brand of beingness and doingness, each one with their own talents and USP’s, each one with a variety of interests and choices. No one forced to confirm to standards, no one forced to perform or perfect. Everyone just allowed to be and become.

That is EXACTLY when appreciation begins to show up subtly, quietly. Without making a grand entry or announcing itself.

When I know that you are just as unique as I am and I am just as talented as you are; that is when I learn to believe in myself, trust in my abilities and also learn to respect you for all that you are and all that you are capable of. This is how I appreciate the art of relating to you in peaceful co-existence.

And this is also when I begin to appreciate the thought that I can maybe depend on you for the things I lack but you are blessed in abundance with. Slowly the idea that I can perhaps give myself the chance to explore interdependency grows ; something that is the core of all good relationships.

Without trying too hard we have achieved the goal of Self Awareness. It has birthed itself in you and me without the both of us going to therapy!

Imagine all the benefits our bodies are reaping: mental, physical, emotional and spiritual health at it’s most beneficial and optimum best!

Self awareness opens the key to a world where we know who we are not. Stopping us from making choices that are neither beneficial nor healthy.

I wish I had known that when I was at the tender age of leaving school. I wish I had known it was okay to be different and walk the roads less travelled with ease. I wish I had been aware that it was perfectly okay to be me thus saving myself from living a life chasing perfection. It would have saved me a lot of heartache and a lot of time convincing the world of what never needed convincing.

I am what I am carries a burden we needn’t carry. It comes with the baggage of our lived in experiences. So when we say it, it comes with the fear that the world might perhaps judge us and reject us for being who we are. We spew it trying to be nonchalant. All the while silently tagging it with a take it or leave it.

Imagine a world where we needn’t live in that fear. Then we wouldn’t be ashamed or feel guilty or regret in leisure for being ourselves, just as we are.

Now try saying I am who I am from this space of abundance and self acceptance. Do you feel the difference?

Now there is freedom. When we say I am who I am now, we are also aware and open to the fact that every one of us enjoys the same freedom to be who they are. No fear. No power struggles. No control. Just the pure joy of Beingness.

That is exactly what that one bold move of holding regularly, such open sessions, learning and teaching appreciation in a room filled with eager children with their entire future in front of them will achieve.

The chance and the choice to say I am who I am and receive nothing but appreciation, appreciation and appreciation.