Theloopylululog

One song?

Singular again?

What is it with you treating everything on the planet like sacred union by marriage straight out of the Bible? Even Jesus had many favorite disciples, I am sure.

That said, let’s dive in with no promises of singularity(whatever do you think that means?).

The minute I saw the prompt my mind bent down studiously to prepare a list of songs that extended from here to Godonlyknows where! At 4 am, mind you!! Without even a shot of my first cuppa green tea! Yeah! I am one of those humans that blooms before the sun rises! What are you gonna do about that, eh?

I tried to get it’s attention like a lion in a circus jumping through hoops. I said , ek gaana bacche, ek gaana chuno ( one song, kiddo, pick one song). It took off in a huff to I know not where throwing it’s new pair of spectacles on my face!!

Listen, I am a carnation, not a periwinkle. I am multifaceted with a million petals. You can’t be asking me to narrow down everything to one. Oye! SShhh…Don’t let my heart hear this though… It is still stuck on a love that downed its shutters on me even as I was just browsing through it cruising along on first gear!

Tell you what, I will give you 3. Sounds okay? Choosing one seems as if I am being forced into an arranged marriage. No. Can’t. Do.

Before we move to the songs, let’s talk about Rafi, shall we? Now don’t you go rolling about your eyes on me.

Mohammed Rafi.

Vanilla among icecreams. Tea among beverages. Potato among vegetables. Rose among flowers. Blue among the colours. Dal chawal among food. Enough with the metaphors already, lady!

Ok. Ok.

Just saying Rafi is my fall-back guy. When life threatens to strangulate me, I let Rafi undulate. When the world refuses to listen to me, I listen to Rafi.

One quick question. When you are happy, do you go seeking a crutch to make you happier? I don’t seem to. Is that wrong? Happiness inside me is like a mountain river. It rushes through me and waters everyone around me with it’s sheer unbridled ecstasy. I become a song myself.

When we are in the blues though, we all need a special something; a mug, a hug, a pillow, a window. Anything that picks us off the ground, dusts us, runs a bath for us and towels us dry. Rooting us down to where we are first, even as the storm within rages on. Deep in the quagmire of the blues is unnamed pain that refuses to untangle itself. Like a lotus pond. An entangled mess underneath. But the surface; exquisitely beautiful like our bluesy mood.

When I am blue, I turn to Rafi. When everyone scurries away from the wrath of my moods like rats abandoning a building on fire, he is the only one who stays.

Rafi is the air I have always breathed. Born to the refrain of his songs a year after his death, he has seen me through life. From a crawling baby who loved to bawl to the woman now who loves her silences a little too much, he has been the salt to my teary sea.

More than prayer, his songs have helped me rise off every fall. From hopeless to hopeful, heartbreaks to breakthroughs, he has been there : “God’s a bit busy bacche, here, let me take care of you. What do you need today? Aaj mausam bada baimaan hai?”

Now here are the top 3 out of the list that my mind began to make before it took off huffing and puffing.

In no particular order:

Teri Galiyon Mein Na Rakhenge Kadam Aaj Ke Baad from Hawas

A song that quietly came to me in childhood, found itself a cozy spot, put on the tea kettle and stayed. I put life on pause when it played on the radio. Stopped dead wherever I was while walking on the road or working through crunch hours. A song that pulls me out of the deepest trenches of human despair. Originally sung by a betrayed lover, the song acts a lifeline to me. The melancholy in Rafi’s golden voice cuts through mine and forces the light to breach through the thick walls, my sadness builds and cages me within. Like they say in Hindi, loha lohe ko kaat ta hai (English equivalent being a diamond cuts a diamond).

Sau Baar Janam Lenge from Ustadon Ke Ustad

A soft hug of a song I seek in times when the loneliness I so much love abandons me for it’s twin. A loneliness that crawls through the intestines in shoes with crampons. When joy bleeds out of the body like blood gushing through a cut vein, I reach out to this song. Listen to the song a million times and you will still be left wondering, how in the world does he do it? Each repeat of Sau Baar leaves you wanting for more. Soft like silk, smooth like vanilla, Rafi soothes wounds that life invariably drops into my heart.

Just like the supernatural theme of the song, Rafi kinda comes through for me, like the invisible hand of God that touches everything in the Universe.

Din Dhal Jaye Haye Raat Na Jaye from Guide

Hitting the blues is one thing, heart break is a whole new world in itself. Heart break needs a special sauce to recover. People like me get a kick out of languishing in these worlds. Sometimes forever.

I mean what do men want? I don’t understand rat races and money mazes. How is the world even functioning today, considering…?

Navigating life without the compass of such basic understanding is madness.But one bright light that laid out the path forward for me is this song. Beyond the love lorn lyrics picturised on the handsome Dev Anand, is Rafi in his hallmark style, comforting an utterly blind me, I got you bacche. I got you. Lean on me.

The magic of Rafi’s music uplifts my spirits helping me push through times that need plenty of patience, the reserves of which are already depleting.

My mantra has always been this : When in chaos, doubt, confusion, sadness, heartbreak, rage, angst, dejection or just the heavy blues; basically the whole rainbow of emotions and feelings threatening to fatten me up like a goat being readied for sacrifice, Hit the Rafi button.

Period.

All ends well. Peace is found. I am saved.