Theloopylululog

Am I a lifelong learner?

In one word YES!

I belong to a family of teachers. The Krishnans’ are known for their talent to awaken young minds to the light of knowledge and guide them towards their destiny.

My mother retired as a primary school teacher who was what you would call an allrounder in Cricket. She was good at teaching life lessons; the subject didn’t matter. Only the object did.

My sister gave 15 years to a school that was just building it’s foundational blocks and she quit as the Principal, leaving behind a legacy worth emulating. She began to teach kids from the time she herself was a kid.

My father taught students who aspired to go higher up in the hierarchy of their respective jobs in Indian Railways where he was employed till he retired.

My brother like my sister began to teach young uns’ when he was in college.

ME?

I held no such aspirations whatsoever to follow in their footsteps. I was always the one on the other side of whatever was worth learning.

Curiosity belled this cat!

I am a curious soul by nature. Insatiable in my quest to unravel the mysteries of the Self and the Universe. Not with the greed to know everything there is out there to know but with the tenacious mind of an explorer towards her purposeful pursuit.Not with the addiction towards a pursuit but for the simple joy that comes with learning something new, yet unknown to me.

I am here to be the determined learner, not the dedicated teacher my family is renowned for. There is always one in every family, an odd one out. Am I glad or what to be the oddest?

It began in childhood when much of my time was spent exploring the sleepy, rainy village I lived in. From climbing trees to talking to them, making kites from newspapers to flying them- to this day I am well known in CastleRock for being the best kite runner they ever had- running after chameleons and away from snakes, hiding from wolves and listening to hyenas and sleeping under the canopy of a well lit sky with millions of stars singing me a lullaby.

CastleRock lit the spark of an explorer in me and it’s spirit has stayed with me even as I turn 45 this month.

Languages caught my heart’s eye as I moved to the city at 8 because I found myself in a land that didn’t speak or understand any of the tongues I knew! What began as a trial to fit in and maybe even belong someday, led me to learn quite a few.

To be able to hear and utter sounds from languages from all parts of the world is a pleasure I will never tire of. Sometimes all I yearn for is to feel the taste of a word like Talab in my mouth.

Rumi I am sure has empathy for this madness of mine.

“Dar rah-e-talab aaqil-o-diwana yakist…”

Rumi

Meaning:
On the path of yearning, the wise and the madman are the same.

My love for nature followed me like a loyal pet. Everywhere I lived, I had a friend that was invariably a tree instead of a human. Today I live across a cemetry for the Muslims that is a rare patch of green in a city that lacks parks. Amongst a glittering gulmohar, are a smattering of acacias and a couple of flame of the forests; my life coaches who have helped me learn the circle of life better than any human could ever teach.

Trees have been kind to me in my quest, sacrificing themselves and arriving into my home taking new births in the form of books; my little pockets of euphoria packed with wisdom. From trivia to general knowledge, poetry to verse, biographies to autobiographies; I consume them all. With the spark in my belly a roaring fire now.

Seems like I’m running from human company? Perhaps yes. In my defence I do get to learn a lot about human endeavors and humanity’s perseverance from books. So I ain’t a lost cause yet! Yeah?

“Talab saadiq ho to khuda ki madad se pahunch jaaya karti hai.”

Rumi

Meaning:
If the yearning (talab) is true and sincere, it reaches its destination with the help of God.

My talab takes me across the globe to mountains and seas; all in the comfort of my cozy chair facing a tree. My never-say-impossible attitude comes from the lessons learnt from explorers who have reached the extreme physical limits of the globe through sheer endurance and will power. On days when nothing seems to perk me up, I revisit one such lesson across books or movies and find the zeal to live another day.

“The wound is the place where Light enters you”

Rumi

What do you do when trauma plunges it’s knife deep into your heart? Leaving you cold and inert. Watching you slowly die.

I hit play on my favorite therapists; musicians who pull a chair, sit next to me, holding me with their music, while I cry my trauma out of my system. Music is a teacher that is unparalleled in the history of humanity. I show my open wounds to it and it enters through them and illuminates the healer within me.

To pay my dues and offer my gratitude, I learnt to sing and even play the violin. Disciplined efforts towards them still whisper to me that all I need is to keep showing up. The destination needn’t even exist for the journey to keep continuing.

“We are only a brush in the hand of the master painter.”

Rumi

Art of any form, to me is prayer. A communion with God. A yearning of the seeker to seek residence in what is seeked. A meeting of the student with the only teacher that knows the secrets of the Universe.

When I paint or sew or write or draw or cook or meditate or exercise or even eat or sleep for that matter, it is a learning process underway. Growing each day to come closer to the only one I need to understand. Myself.

Through this offering of prayer I am learning to trust in the Divine. Trust that I am here for a purpose and that purpose is being fulfilled by simply being alive to every moment that is a teacher in itself.

I am forever a work in progress and ain’t that the fun? Who wants to achieve all that there is to achieve in one day? If I end up learning all that I can today, where is the motivation to wake up to tomorrow?

Many have asked me, what is your life’s purpose?

I smile and say I am an explorer. Always was, always will be. I was born an explorer, will die as one. My purpose is to be a lifelong learner.

The day I would want to stop learning; I bet that will be my last day on Earth.