Theloopylululog

This question seems to have come from the goofy mind of a madcap Bollywood cinema buff. Don’t ask me why but for the longest time I believed the word Villain is an Indian word restricted to Indian Cinema.

I am serious. It was even pronounced Villian, with a stress in the i.

It just didn’t seem to go with the image of a fashionably dressed, high class, well versed, moneyed citizen of the world, that I presumed everything out there to be!

To me a villain was a pan chewing man, with obviously bad teeth wearing clothes discarded by a buffalo and trampled by a marsh horse, speaking in hinterland hindi. Crass words falling out of his mouth like prayer beads; much of it lost on me!

Why only men? Don’t get me wrong. I ain’t gender biased. I just wasn’t exposed to women being villains or even called villains. Indian women seemed to be worshipped everywhere and hence they were never portrayed as villains. They were simply misguided vamps! Boring!

Times…they were a-changin’. First stop: villains changed their stylists. With a refreshed wardrobe and fake accents, a blond wig here and a cuban cigar there; villains were the crowd pullers and for good reason. But still, their actions were just as vile at its worst and childish at its best.

Once I grew out of my simpleton era, broadened my mind’s horizons and came to understand the workings of the world, the line between things that are generally divided into good and bad blurred.

Oh…I also realised villain wasn’t restricted to Indian Cinema. Most definitely not an Indian word!

So who exactly is a villain? They even stopped calling them that a while ago, didn’t they?

It’s anti-hero now? Ain’t it?

A villain to me is someone who knows themselves as clear as light, however dark their intentions might seem to be. Someone who knows what they want and is willing to die for it, needs to be applauded! How many out there can say that for themselves, eh?

Ask me and I would crown anyone with balls to question society and it’s archaic structures, establishment and it’s rigid rules, humanity and it’s burgeoning quest to destroy Earth, even question God for that matter without any fear in their hearts, a villain.

The outsider. The lone wolf. The one who fights wars no one else dare wage.

Two characters come to my mind who fulfill this criteria and win my love unconditionally. Loopy Lulu is on their team forever!

Nope, they are not movie villains.

One is from a book. The other from an OTT series adapted from a book.

Dr. Bertrand Zobrist: A genius and geneticist from Dan Brown’s Inferno.

The One who was willing to die to free some space and make Earth a better place…with fewer people ofcourse.

Naturally expect a wee bit of insanity from him. I mean he has a name beginning with a zee. Not since Zinedine Zidane did I come across a man with such a beautiful name with a penchant for…you know?! It even rhymes with a florist. I am sure the genius had a secret garden dedicated to Zinnias and Zenobias that Dan never told us about! So what if they head butt and are driven to near-madness by the threat of human overpopulation. Believing the Earth’s population to be on the brink of destroying the planet, Zobrist creates a highly contagious viral vector he calls “Inferno” to selectively cause infertility and cull the global population by half.

Genius indeed. I don’t know why people thought Dan lost the plot in this book. This book is by far his only book with a real world solution that could actually work. Lost symbols and Holy Grails are all fine, but what the heck am I going to do with all this symbology once I turn the last page!

I am Team Earth if there ever comes a day, a war wages between humanity and Earth. I want Earth to win. At the cost of all humanity to be erased off of it? Ofcourse YES! Without a doubt. I am not sorry I love the planet more than humanity.

If people aren’t willing to do something about overpopulation on their own…somebody has to rise up and make their choice for them. Even if it is by force. If you can’t zip it, let somebody zip it for you!

I LOVED Zobrist’s theory. I loved that he created that virus and let it choose anyone it wanted to affect randomly. I loved that he named it after Dante’s Inferno.

I hated that he killed himself though. He deserved to live after that bold ballsy act.

Handover the Nobel to him already! Posthumously is fine!

Anthony J Crowley: The Demon( fallen angel)from Good Omens

Played by David Tennant( dishy as hell!), Crowley is also the snake that tempted Eve to eat the apple. Did I tell you he is a shape shifter? We all know what happens next.

Friends with an angel Aziraphale, Crowley loves plants( although they seem terrified by him) and lives in a sleek and sexy black Bentley with a mind of it’s own. The car itself deserves a crown!

The only one to question God about the inherent flaws of creation and the Universe, humanity, free will, injustice and what have you…only to be exiled. A demon who actually loves humans and wants to give them a chance, hellbent( pun intended) on saving humanity from armegeddon!

Gay and in love with his best friend, the classic good angel. What’s not to love?

Hellbent( pun intended again!) against being typecast, he hated all creatures from Hell! Oh, the toxic bureaucracy of the damned!

When finally God( hat tip! it’s a black woman!) does give him a ear and a choice, he chooses complete annihilation of the Universe thus giving a fresh start to all of humanity! A new beginning to the Universe at the cost of all life; thus his life and his love’s sacrifice too.

Even the angel hesitates for a moment. He’s addicted to food, books…all things Earthside and his angelic being. Unwilling to let go of his comforts for the greater good. Wanting to choose their togetherness over a sacrifice.

Can you beat that? Could anyone be more…good?

Crowley is a classic villain per definition of a demon. But he is the one possessing all the qualities that describe GOOD. In the battle between the good and the bad, he teams with the truth.

Alone. Cast out. Homeless.

Guiltfree. Pure fun.

Never letting anything get to him.

Hozzatt for a classic hero…err villain…err I am sorry, I am all in knots now.

Suffice to say my villains are the blur living in the crossroads, the in-betweens. Going beyond the conventional choices. Neither leaders nor followers. They are a league of their own. They look you straight in the eye, straighten your collar and question where you stand.

And that’s all that matters, no?